NO FRIEND OF MINE

GEORGE W. BUSH

You may recall that back in the day, George had a friend. This man was such a good friend that he even had a nickname, which is about the bestest thing one can receive from George. His nickname was Kenny Boy. Kenny Boy was a fellow Texan and oilman, so George and Kenny Boy had lots to talk about and were really the very definition of BFF.

Until Kenny Boy got in trouble for losing a lot of people their retirement money, among other offenses. Then George could only vaguely recall Kenny Boy. After all, he was more than an acquaintance than anything else. And George had a lot of friends really, so he shouldn't be expected to remember every single one of them, even one who had helped get George his new house. A couple of years later, after Kenny Boy was convicted of all manner of malfeasance, he died. I tend to think it was from a broken heart at having been abandoned by his former BFF George.

Don't fret for George, though, for he had another friend. And this friend was so cool that lots of people at George's house on Pennsylvania Avenue liked him. His name was Jack. Jack helped raise a lot of money for George and his friends. In fact, Jack was so liked that he made over 200 trips to George's house in the ten months after George had moved there. Jack was a good buddy.

Until Jack got in trouble for some bad things. Then George never really remembered ever having met Jack. In fact, he certainly didn't remember Jack ever coming to his house, let alone over two hundred times. Sure, George knew of Jack, but it's not like they were BFF or anything. Besides, lots of folks come to George's house, so it's not like George should remember every visitor, much less one who funneled an awful lot of money to George's GOP friends. Jack will be going to jail soon, but I don't think he should be expecting any letters from his former friend, George.

Still, George, being a popular guy, has other friends, like his Ted. Ted and George share a deep love of God. They love God so much that they talked every week about Him. Ted liked having a friend like George. After all, George is popular. Ted liked to talk about how he could call George at his house and George would always call him back so they could talk about stuff like God and how much God hates gays.

Then one day, Ted got in some trouble with an "overly friendly" male prostitute who apparently sold Ted drugs and gave him massages ... for three years. Suddenly, Ted and George weren't really friends anymore. George couldn't recall talking to Ted every week. Sure, Ted had probably called once or twice and he had met George (Ted has a picture to prove it!), but then, a lot of people call the White House, so it's not like George could remember every phone call. Even ones from someone like Ted, who was popular in his own right (after all, he had 30 million friends in his circle). And all those friends of Ted could certainly be a big help if George ever needed anything. But George doesn't remember Ted all that much. I would think that that would make Ted sad.

Kenny Boy, Jack and Ted don't think that George is all that good of a friend. I tend to agree.

HELLBOUND?

JERRY FALWELL


If you've been watching even a little bit of news today you know that it's all Ted Haggard all the time. As such, the righties are in various stages of spin mode, the most egregious of which is coming from Jerry Falwell, the toad of a man who says lovely things like gays , the ACLU and "abortionists" were to blame for 9/11 because we as a nation were being punished by God.

Anyway, now that the Haggard scandal is in full bloom, Falwell is going out of his way to distance himself from that sinner Haggard, even going so far as to outright lie (I know, huge shocker). Falwell claims to not knowing Haggard and having never even met the guy, which is a big fib since they were both in attendance as Bush signed the Partial Birth Abortion Act of 2003. Haggard bragged about being able to spend almost an hour with Bush in the Oval Office along with Falwell and other religious right luminaries. Having watched The West Wing religously for years I know that the Oval Office, while spacious, is not a room where nine people can't not happen to meet. What, was Falwell hiding behind a sofa or in the fireplace?

Next, Falwell claims that the Haggard's influence in the evangelical movement was negligible at best. As Silent Patriot at Crooks and Liars notes,

Although Haggard may not be a household name like Falwell, Dobson or Robertson, there's no doubt that he is a hugely influential figure in the religous right movement. It's laughable for Falwell to play down his influence when he was President of the largest evangelical organizaion in the America representing more than 30 million members.

For being such a God-fearing man, Falwell certainly does have a penchant for bearing false witness. Utlimately, Falwell is a dispicable human being who has long since abandoned the core tenets of Christianity. Much like Bush and his Republican ilk, his sole god is the acquisition of power. Any word to the contrary is the smokescreen of a sinner.

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH

TED HAGGARD


More rightwing hypocrisy to report, this time not coming from the ranks of Congress, which is something of a shock. This time, one of the most powerful and influencial men in the religious right movement has apparently found his hand in the cookie jar. Today's subject is a Mr. Ted Haggard, the president of the National Association of Evangelicals, representing 30 million conservative Christians. He is also the founder and senior pastor of the 14,000(!) member New Life Church.
So, what's the hypocrisy, you ask?
Well, a male prostitute has stepped forward and has alleged a three-year relationship with Haggard.
So, yet another religious nut is apparently doing the nastiest of nasties. Who cares? Happens all the time, right? Well, Haggard is a bit of a different nut. From Salon.com via Americablog:

We asked for an explanation from Salon's Lauren Sandler, the author of "Righteous: Dispatches From the Evangelical Youth Movement." Here's what she tells us:

"Ted Haggard may not just be the most important evangelical you've never heard of, but the most important evangelical, period...."

Which is why it matters so that Haggard seems to have fallen. The Mark Foley scandal inspired plenty of people to question their devotion to the Republican Party. But Foley is a politician; most evangelicals would already suspect him of thinly cloaking his identity in a three-piece, pinstriped superego. Haggard, on the other hand, has always represented the real deal. He's the one John Wayne would have tapped for his posse. He's the one who represents most how deeply political this evangelical population can be, while always disdaining the notion of politics, always cleaving toward the ranch rather than the Hill."

If that makes it sound like Haggard and Bush are peas in a pod, well, they are. Haggard participates -- or at least he did -- in weekly White House conference calls, and he and the president like to joke that the only thing they disagree on is what truck to drive."

Haggard has been preaching against homosexuality with his typical charismatic fire-and-brimstone fervor ever since he founded New Life Church in Colorado Springs. Probably even before then. And if he's right that there is a special place in hell for gay fornicators and drug abusers -- not to mention for liars and charlatans -- I guess he knows where he's headed."

So, a man who vociferously preaches about the evils of homosexuality and has the ear of George Bush on a weekly basis has been accused of what I would think is the very worst kind of smear and what does he do? Does he fight tooth and nail defending himself against these baseless accusations? Um, no. He resigns from his position as president of the aforementioned National Association of Evangelicals as well as his position within his megachurch.

Now, I do not mean to imply that this is necessarily the actions of a guilty man, but they certainly do not appear to be the actions of a man who has been wrongly accused of a sin he spends so much time railing against. Time and various internal investigations may ultimately reveal the truth, but in the court of public opinion (or at least my opinion) is actions do not appear to indicate a wrongly accused man.

UPDATE - So, I guess he did do it, or at least, "some" of the claims. From KKTV (via Americablog):

A sudden about-face in the scandal facing New Life Church's pastor.


After Pastor Ted Haggard went public Wednesday night denying allegations of a homosexual affair, senior church officials told KKTV 11News Thursday evening, Pastor Ted Haggard has admitted to some of the claims made by a former male escort. The church's Acting Senior Pastor, Ross Parsley, tells KKTV 11 News that Pastor Haggard has admitted to some of the indiscretions claimed by Mike Jones, but not all of them.

More conservative hypocrisy, ladies and gents.