DERELICTION OF DUTY

ME


My humblest apologies to you, my faithful readers. It occurred to me that I have not updated the TOP TEN all day. As I'm sure this has caused no end of suffering and agony to my most loyal of visitors I present you with a brand spanking updated TOP TEN. And, as an added bonus at NO extra charge, I've included your full recommended daily allowance of snark all in one sitting. What other blog is going to provide you with such a great deal? I challenge you to find one, boys and girls.
So, without further ado, I give you...

THE UPDATED TOP TEN!!!
1. GEORGE W. BUSH (Previous: 1)
C'mon, folks. After yesterday's presser, the repercussions are still being felt. Hell, The Daily Show has enough material to last them through next week thanks to Dubya's performance, so the Decider-in-Chief stays at number one!
2. GEORGE FELIX ALLEN JR. (Previous: 4)
I tell ya, if not for him and Lieberman, I'd have like 50% less to post about. I'm busy working with my daughter to apologize when she something wrong. Maybe Felix would like to join in?
3. JOHN MCCAIN (Previous: 6)
I'm not sure if I'm pissed off at him for dusting off the "Maverick" badge more than I am the media if they bite on it. Wake up, dumb people. No Maverick is he!
4. BILL O'REILLY (Previous: NEW)
Does O'Reilly like to kill puppies? Does he want to see bunnies dead in the streets in America? Does he rip the heads off of teddy bears? Hey, I'm just posing hypotheticals.
5. HUGH HEWITT (Previous: 2)
Yeah, his condescension pissed me off, around here, you've gotta keep your stuff fresh. Say something else boneheaded and I'll give you a bump... what, you already did? Oh, well, then I'll get to you tomorrow.
6. JOE LIEBERMAN (Previous: 5)
A poem: In case you didn't get the subtle cues in my Murkowski post earlier today, take a hint and be a man and please just go away. (Yeah, I know, horrendous meter, but gimme a break, it's almost bedtime. Be nice and maybe I'll hit ya with some haiku tomorrow.)
7. JAMES INHOFE (Previous: 3)
Shiny Happy People Holding Hands! Iraq's such a great place. They really are happy we're there. It's a miracle what's going on there now. Just ask the civilian that was killed today in Baghdad when a roadside bomb went off. That's some miracle going on over there.
8. ORRIN HATCH (Previous: 7)
Hey, did you hear that if the Dems win control of Congress this fall that your cat will die. True.
9. REDSTATE.COM (Previous: 8)
Hey, wingnuts! How about if you get a server that doesn't suck ass during the day. I can't ridicule what you say if I can't log onto your site. It's simple really.
10. DICK CHENEY (Previous: 9)
And back in the bunker he goes. I swear, the guy is like a little bridge troll or something. He pops out for a second, grabs some money, then goes back into hiding.
Honorable Mention: RICK SANTORUM (Previous: 10)
I was going to let the guy fade away graciously, but I did a quick search before writing this only to find this headline: "Santorum Launches First Negative TV Ad" My question to you all is, how in the blue hell did he make it this long before doing a negative ad? Seriously, that's like asking a pedophile to take a jog through a school playground. I'm sure the urge to go negative was just eating him alive. Congrats on going this long.

Coming up Thursday, I've got a couple of things lined up (haven't written them yet, but the ideas are purcolating away) including the debut of someone you'd think would be a natural for this my TOP TEN (anyone wanna venture a guess in the comments section?) and a new feature of sorts I like to call "Random Thoughts."