THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING...

GEORGE FELIX ALLEN JR.


Okay, I take it back. The Inhofe thing may not be the easiest thing that I've written all day. And if it's not, then this one is most definitely a close second. For a verbal gaffe that most would have quickly apologized for, Felix and his crew just don't seem to get it. Why is this still on my radar screen? Well, Felix's campaign manager, Dick Wadhams, sent out a memo today. I think this Macaca-gate is really starting to get to him because he sure jumps all over the place. Mr. Aravosis over at (my personal favorite) Americablog has a quick little blurb that basically sums up the entire memo:

Particularly interesting is that the campaign manager claims Allen apologized to the guy he attacked. In fact, Allen has yet to talk to the student. He then claims that Allen said his comments were a mistake. But in fact, Allen said his comments were misinterpreted and in this very memo today the campaign manager said the entire issue was a fabrication of the "liberal media" and deserved no attention, and he even goes on to say that the entire story is simply the media and liberals "playing the race card."

The DSCC has a copy of the letter that was originally sent to GOP leaders and Allen Campaign leadership. Since there's just so many nuggets of goodness in the letter, I'll reprint the whole thing while giving my snark in bold:

Memo from Dick Wadhams

MemorandumTo: GOP leaders/Allen campaign leadership

From: Dick Wadhams, Campaign Manager

Re: Notes on a tough week August 19, 2006

I think it is obvious that this past week was difficult one for Senator and Mrs. Allen [oh, he's trying to play a little "Mrs. Alito" card, that sneaky devil] and the campaign. It is very clear that the news media created what they call a "feeding frenzy", with the Washington Post alone doing major stories on the same issue for 5 consecutive days.

Literally putting words into Senator Allen's mouth that he did not say (by speculating, defining and attributing meanings and motives that simply are not true), [uh, he said "macaca" which isn't a word one necessarily hears all that often so human beings, being a curious bunch, decided to look it up and see what it meant - we've since learned that there really aren't too many things that macaca can mean unless one is being derogatory.] the Webb campaign and the news media seeming worked hand-in-hand to create national news over something that did not warrant coverage in the first place. [You're correct. A quick "I'm sorry" and it probably would have gone away.]

Even after Senator Allen apologized to the Webb campaign staffer in specific [uh, actually you didn't], and to anyone who may have been offended in general [uh, actually you said, and I quote "IF" anyone was offended; as I've noted earlier, adding an "if" to an apology tends to negate said apology], the news media continued to print and re-print the same speculations and inaccurate portrayals of Senator Allen's comments [they kept writing about it and "speculating" about because, a) you won't apologize for it, and b) you're excuse for what was said changed at least four times, so naturally the evil media is going to bring up your asinine explanations]. Never in modern times has a statewide officeholder and candidate been so vilified [does anybody have a cross for this poor perscuted soul?] in a desperate attempt to revive a campaign that was fast-sinking – the Webb campaign.

Senator Allen has said that his comments were a mistake. Who among us has not made mistakes? In fact, how many of us could put in the hours of work, travel, meetings, campaigning, etc. that Senator Allen has over the years and make as few mistakes as he has? [Jeezus! Does this douchebag want a cookie or something?]

Apparently the media's standard for candidates is now that they must be perfect [actually, we just want you to not slur someone because their skin color doesn't match yours, but liberals are such sensitive wussies, I guess], not human, and that no mistake or verbal gaffe is to be forgiven, no matter how much the candidate apologize. Will the Washington Post hold it's candidate for the U.S. Senate to the same standard? We will see, but I'm not holding my breath.

The bottom line for us, friends, is that same as it has always been. We cannot rely on the news media [insert random lame Fox News joke here] to get our positive, constructive message out to the voters. In fact, we cannot expect them to be objective, let along fair. As always, we have to do it together, getting our message directly to the voters.

Senator Allen has a long, positive, successful track record as a member of the House of Delegates and House of Representatives, as our Governor and now as our United States Senator. [And the Confederacy thinks he's pretty cool, too.]

There is hardly a place you can go in the Commonwealth that Senator Allen has not visited at least once or touched in some way. Senator Allen and Susan Allen have impacted the lives of tens of thousands of Virginians through their public service and volunteer activities. This is evident to anyone who has participated in a Listening Tour stop this year.

He was there long before his opponent discovered there were such places in Virginia. And, he will be there long after his opponent has faded from the scene [and gone to Washington as the next senator of Virginia].

Looking Ahead

There is no question that this is a tough year to run for the Senate as a Republican. The Democrats and their liberal constituency groups, such as MoveOn.org [has one group been more demonized as the MoveOn people?], are pouring millions of dollars into television attack ads, seeking to take control of the Senate and House. Rep. Thelma Drake has already been a target of their vicious attacks. We expect to see Senator Allen attacked in the same way.

The reason the Democrats run such negative campaigns and always play the race card, is that they have no positive ideas to run on. That is as true this year as in any
other. The fact that they have attempted to make race an issue so early in the
campaign is evidence of just how desperate they are. [Waaaagh, the bad Dems made race an issue just because I called a darky a name. Why are they always picking on me?]

Senator Allen summarizes his public service as making Virginia a better place to live, learn, work and raise a family. And, that's what this campaign is all about.

Senator Allen will win because he is right on the issues. He will win because he has one a great job as Senator and Governor. He will win because he has stayed in touch with Virginians and been responsive to their needs. He will win because he and Susan will work harded than anyone to get the job done.

And, Senator Allen will win because of your help and support. Now is the time to rally for Senator Allen and our Congressional candidates. Now is the time to get our positive message out door-to-door, by telephone and at fairs, festivals and meetings of all sizes.

You are the secret weapon that Senator Allen has always confounded the pundits with.

Let's show the liberal interest groups that by coming to Virginia, they have gotten more than they bargained for and that they need not bother us ever again!

Dick Wadhams, Campaign Manager [Isn't that a great radio DJ name? Really, give it a shot: "Dick Wadhams with ya this morning, it's ten before the hour. Coming up we've got traffic and news so stick around."]

(A quick disclaimer: I know that some people might find the word 'retarded,' when used as an insult is coarse, some might find it offensive. I don't normally use the term because it can be pretty insulting to those who have dealt with it in their lives. )
All that being said, I just have to ask the entire Allen campaign one thing: ARE YOU GUYS FREAKING RETARDED OR SOMETHING?! Don't you get it? How hard it for you to get it through your collective skulls that, number one, what Felix said, regardless of what he meant or inferred or meant to imply, was a boneheaded thing to say. And number two, (and a kid running for president of his eighth grade class would know this) a quick apology will disarm the opposition. A simple mistake, a quick apology, it all goes away. It is that simple. It is not the boogeyman of the evil liberal media who has allowed this to fester. Honestly, when it all went down at first, I said to myself, "Huh. That was pretty dumb. We should be able to get maybe two, three days out of this. Maybe it'll help Webb close that gap a bit." End of thought.

It's distressing really. For going on the last six years, this great nation has been saddled with a president who is pathologically unable to admit when he makes a mistake. What we have in George Felix Allen Jr. is a man cut from the same cloth. And he wants to be the next president of the United States. People, I don't know if we can take it.

I'll give Felix a bump the next time a do a TOP TEN.