Monday, August 21, 2006



Moving you from the sublime of King George to the surreal, I bring you Ms. Houston.
Now, you may ask, what the heck is a washed up pop star with serious chemical dependency issues and a felon for a husband doing on a list that supposed to highlight the worst in politics on any given day?
Can you say, "Whitney and Osama sittin' in a tree...".
Yes, that's right, everyone's favorite Crack-is-whack head seems to have an admirer in none other than Osama bin Laden. And since this is obviously giving comfort to Bin Laden, then that would mean the Whitney is a traitor (hey, it's no more specious an argument then some of the junk the Righties spew in my direction on a daily basis).

You may now take a moment to react in whatever way you deem appropriate. Take your time, I'll wait.

From the website, (via Mr. Aravosis over at Americablog):

According to Bin Laden’s former sex slave Kola Boof the Saudi native is obsessed with the crack addicts work.
She told Harpers Bazaar: “He told me Whitney was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.”
"He said that he had a paramount desire for her and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting."
Apparently Bin Laden wants to convert Bobby Brown’s lady to Islam and shower her with copious amounts of gif[t]s.

"He would say how beautiful she is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women's husbands killed."
She added: "He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives."

So... much... snark. Brain... overloading.

First off, Kola Boof? Are you kidding me?! One of the commenters over at the site said that a sex slave named Kola Boof would make Ian Fleming proud. I feel obliged to agree.
As for Whitney's beauty, I must once again don my reporter's cap and ask Osama, "Mr. Terrorist, sir. One quick question: have you seen her lately? Oh, and a followup if I may, are you aware that her alcohol and drug abuse has caused her to look as though she is about 65 instead of her actual age of 43? Here are some visual aids for you, sir:"

Image Hosted by

Moving on to having Bobby Brown killed, I have one question: Aaaaaand, that would be bad because? Personally, I fully support the notion that eliminating the program known as Being Bobby Brown by ANY MEANS NECESSARY would be a huge step towards making the world a better place.

Oh, and here's a nice gesture from one of the most hated men on the planet: "He would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives." Gee, that's so sweet. I mean, if even a guy like Osama can learn to accept a person even though they are "of colour," then I think there's hope for all of us. Don't you think?

Disclaimer: This website does not advocate the elimination of Mr. Bobby Brown from the face of the earth.

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