WHEN IN DOUBT,
BLAME CLINTON

JOHN MCCAIN


Did you know that every single problem that the United States has faced, is facing or will ever face is the fault of one man, William Jefferson Clinton, the 42nd president of the United States. According to unnamed sources, Clinton was responsible for the events of 9/11 and may have actually coordinated the entire thing with Osama bin Laden. He may also have been involved in the military failure in Vietnam, undermined the McCarthy/HUAC hearings, flew a plane for the Japanese at Pearl Harbor, kidnapped the Lindbergh baby, triggered the Great Depression, shot Ferdinand to kickstart the Great War, shot Lincoln and framed up Booth and led the British troops against George Washington. I tell ya, the man has led a busy life. At least, that's what most Republicans would have you believe. In fact, Clinton is apparently to blame for all of ills facing America today (mind you, almost six years after he left office). Honestly, he was so busy screwing up this nation for the next generation that it's a wonder he ever had the time to get a blowjob from some White House intern much less kill Vince Foster and make it look like a suicide.
Today's participant in the "Let's Blame Clinton" game is none other than Mr. Straight Talk Express himself, John McCain! On Monday, in a campaign appearnace for a GOP senate candidate outside of Detroit, McCain blamed Clinton for the North Korean nuclear test, claiming “[I]t is a failure of the Clinton administration policies…that have caused us to be in the situation we’re in today”; a Clinton administrtion who's time in office ended in January of 2001 ... almost six years ago ... about 2000 days ago. Does everyone see where I'm going with this? Basically, according to McCain, the current president, who has been in office for the same 2000 days the Clinton has been out of office, bares no responsibility for what is going on in NK. The fact that Bush has obstinantly refused to engage in any direct talks with NK and has instead engaged in a foreign policy that can best be described as sticking one's fingers in one's ears, closing one's eyes tightly and screaming at the top of one's lungs, "LALALALALALALA," apparently has had no impact on the current situation in NK. For 2000 days, Bush has done little except exacerbate an already tense situation on an almost daily basis, but on the Straight Talk Express piloted by John McCain, the radio station must be tuned to ABC, as in Always Blame Clinton. At what point do these bastards accept responsibility for something? Will the Republicans be blaming Clinton in 2032 for things he did back in the 90s? Will there ever be a time when something isn't Bill Clinton's fault?

NOTE: Think Progress has an excellent timeline for "North Korea's Atomic March". I highly recommend checking it out. Here's a quick cheat sheet provided by TP:

Bush I: 1-2 bombs worth of plutonium
Clinton: Zero plutonium
Bush II: 10-11 bombs worth of plutonium and counting, first nuclear test

But, of course, it's all Clinton's fault.