THE EMPEROR HAS NO TEETH

GEORGE W. BUSH

I'll get to the Rummy resignation later, but I wanted to hit on the Bush press conference today. In the past, I've had ... issues with Bush. To even hear him speak caused a great anger and disgust to rise up into the back of my throat. I swear it was involuntary as I would have given anything not to feel such intense disdain for someone just by hearing the sound of their voice.

But today? Today was different. Today was much different and it felt good. As I listened to the press conference I no longer felt that same pit in my stomach. The best word I could use to describe what I felt today was ... pity. Not necessarily for Bush himself. Rather it had more to do with how pathetic he sounded now. His voice no longer holds sway over me. He's like the abominable snow monster from that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special they show every Christmas. Sure, Bumby looked all scary with his big sharp teeth and menacing grown. But in the end, Yukon Cornelius and Hermy the Elf who wished to be a dentist detoothed the big white baddy. After that, Bumby was a pussycat. Robbed of his choppers, the monster was impotent. That's George W. Bush now. His sharp teeth, namely a compliant Republican Congress that performed no oversight and rubberstamped his every whim, have been removed from his arsenal. And now? Now he's not so scary anymore.

As to the content of his comments, Bush used words that I don't recall him using in the past; words like bipartisanship. He must have used the word twenty times. Whether his words match up to reality remains to be seen, but feeble attempt at effort was there. Also, "decider" is now apparently out, "assessor" is in; as in this paraphrase of a sentence he spoke: "We need to assess things as assessing is what we need to do in order for there to be an assessment." I'm not kidding; he really did say something to that effect.

Bush flat out admitted that he lied to the press during the parts I heard; namely his assertion last week that Rumsfeld was totally safe and would be on the job for the rest of Bush's term. That turned out to be categorically false, not because Rummy resigned necessarily, but because this has apparently been in the works for some time, as in, well before he gave is vote of confidence to Rummy. He claims he did so in order to move onto the next question, but there are other ways of deflecting a question that are less definitive than what Bush did last week. Given his flat out lie, I'm curious if the peeps in the press will be willing to accept Bushie at face value so much anymore (not that this if the first time he's lied to them; this is just the first time he's been caught since the New World Order started last night).

Bush lamented that he hadn't been as successful as he would have liked in his mission to change the tone in Washington (a bogus promise made six years ago). An astute reporter snidely questioned whether Bush's comments last week about a win for the Dems is a victory for the terrorists was in keeping with his ongoing efforts to change the tone. Classic.

Anyway, that's all that comes to mind right now. I was listening on my satellite radio so I wasn't able to take in all his tics and movements. As I figured, he seemed to get testier as the presser continued; the press seeming to construct something of a backbone over the last 24 hours. Either that, or it was just so damn simple to shoot the toothless Bumby in a barrel that Bush has become.