Continuing my mad obsession with all things Prez '08, I bring you the comedy stylings of Newt Gingrich. Until now, it was only speculation that he would make a run for his party's nomination. Now, he's working on the plan; nay, not a plan, rather a movement that will become so powerful that he will have no choice but to acquiese to the will of the people and simply become president.
"I am not 'running' for president. I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen."
Maybe I'm just picking at semantics here, but it's just such an odd way of courting voters. It's sort of like a bizarro version of LBJ's decision not to run in 1968: 'I'm not asking for your vote, but if chosen by the solemn and unsolicited approval of my legions of loving followers, I will humbly accept the post.'
As Shelly Lewis reminds us, Newt's list of offenses is an extensive one, including
[...] the ethics issues, the creation of the sleazy, bullying Republican revolving-door lobbyist system now known as the K street project, and the pouty government shutdown he orchestrated in a losing battle with Bill Clinton[.]
With a resume like that, let's hope that people do not find his amazing panaceas all that compelling so that we can continue to consign him to the dustbin of history.