WHERE'S O'REILLY WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

Quickly, someone notify Bill "Culture Warrior" O'Reilly! Head to the commissioner's office and tilt back the head of the bust and press the button so that the signal will go out to the Bill-O cave. Then O'Reilly, our nation's staunchest defender of the rights of Christmas, can come running, ready to assist in this most egregious of holiday Christmas attacks.

Specifically, a woman in a southwestern Colorado subdivision has displayed a Christmas wreath on her home that incorporates a peace symbol. She is being fined $25 a day because of it. Yes, during the season that is meant to honor the birth the Lord our God, Jesus Christ himself, Mr. Prince of PEACE by the way, a woman is being harassed and bullied for displaying this decidedly un-Christian symbol on her home.

A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.

Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.

Alright, I'm beyond confused at this point. A woman displays a symbol expressing her desire for peace and the people who would most benefit from that peace, namely the families of the men and women who are dying in Iraq, are raising a stink. During the season of "peace on Earth and goodwill towards men" a couple of families get all knee-jerk over their belief that being against the war must by definition mean being against the troops. And don't even get me starting with the Satanic symbology nonsense - someone's been watching the Da Vinci Code just a little too much; step away from the DVD player, people. And even if the symbol were satanically motivated, don't we have that whole freedom of religion thing? Not here.

The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."

The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.

Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything. Kearns fired all five committee members.

Nothing that "can be considered divisive" can be displayed. Um, isn't that just about EVERYTHING!!! What if a person is offended by a Jewish family with a menorah in the window? What if a person dislikes a neighbor's plastic nativity display? How about a complaint over the tackiness of a lawn filled with an overabundance of lighted deer and other woodland creatures? Given the way the bylaws are written, anything could be viewed as objectionable or divisive, but to take offense of a symbol of peace during this season of honoring the Prince of Peace Himself is beyond absurd. Remember, nitwits - wishing for peace does not equal crapping on your sons and daughters who are unfortunate enough to be stuck in Iraq rather than with their loved ones (read: YOU) this holiday season.

If ever there was a salvo in O'Reilly's manufactured "War on Christmas" this certainly would qualify. I demand an immediate investigation by Bill-O into this horrendous attack. Rage RAGE against the dying of the wreath!!

UPDATE: The Kearn guy resigned and the woman received an apology and will not have to pay any fine. Good for her. Sanity returns to a small corner of the world.